Saturday, September 18, 2010

I take on a hoard of angry Hornets!

I have a post lamp at the end of my sidewalk. It's mostly for decoration, but I like the security I feel when I see its little light glowing out there after dark. The photo cell on it went bad this summer and so I have had it turned off. Not a big deal when it stays light practically until I go to bed at night, but now that it's getting dark earlier, I have missed it's friendly little glow. So today I decided to replace the photo cell. The screw to the access plate was rusted in place. So I got my drill and drilled out the screw and pried open the cover. When the door opened, one lonely little hornet came buzzing out. I sat very still watching him buzz around a bit and decided that he was probably grateful to me for releasing him because he didn't mean to get trapped inside the lamp. So I resumed my business of replacing the photocell. When I pulled the wires out of the box a half dozen more little, not so lonely, hornets came out of the box. Now, I was holding very still again, but tensed as much as a old lady can tense, ready to run. Still, the hornets didn't seem too concerned about my presence there (maybe they missed the light too) and they quietly buzzed away to somewhere else. I confidently took the wires, disconnected the faulty photocell and replaced it with a shiny new one. Now, here's where the trouble began. Apparently, the little group of hornets that had come out earlier was simply a group of reconnaissance hornets, because when those wires started back inside the box, the entire hornet army came buzzing out of the box. I knew I couldn't run, so I sat very, very still, hoping that hornets could smell fear and if I stayed calm they wouldn't be able to find me. It seems I was on to something because the angry hornets buzzed around the opening of the box and up and down the light post for a few seconds seemingly completely unaware of me. After a few minutes of looking and not being able to identify the threat, the angry hornets started to retreat back into the box. Once I was confident that the majority of this angry, buzzing militia had regrouped inside the box, I calmly replaced the cover. Okay, maybe slamming the little door over the opening while shouting, "ha, ha! I trapped you little buggers." and singing the victory song from Rocky was not exactly calm. But, I had defeated the army with my nerves of steel and my clever thinking. I quickly screwed the door shut, jumped up and performed the Mary Lou Retton dismount maneuver and dashed for the house. (All right, the only part of the maneuver I did was throwing my arms up in the air, but you get it). Now I'm thinking....I'll bet they have hornet spray at Cal Ranch.

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