Why my generation is scarred (or at least one of the reasons)

I was driving by the high school today and saw the girls walking around the track in their attractive, knee length black gym shorts and baggy, long gray t shirts and caught myself thinking back to my days in junior high and high school P.E. class. The younger generation

will probably never appreciate the humiliation that was every day gym class for my generation. I remember that first day of 7th grade gym class when the gym clothes nazi's issued the "required" gym clothing that every girl had to wear. Mind you, the boys were never asked to wear something this ridiculous, because really, girls weren't self conscious enough. right? We each dutifully accepted

THIS!!!!

The big, blue, monkey suit. Does anyone else find it strange that the powers that be who forced us into these ridiculous get ups couldn't understand why all the junior high girls had so many strange illnesses that they could provide notes for that said they couldn't dress down for gym class? Really, do you have to be a genius? These babies were one size fits all. Now, mind you, what the meant wasn't that they came in different sizes. What it meant was, if you can get the snaps to close, it fits ya'll. I remember those horrible days of walking out of the dressing room looking like a blue version of the Michelin Man, holding the front of my gym suit tightly with both hands while people across the gym threw big, red, rubber balls at my head. I knew if I let go of that snap front garment to protect my brain from being damaged that some joker would sneak up behind me and yank the back of that baby. The snaps would then all pop open and I would be left standing there in front of God and everybody in my over the shoulder boulder holder and my big, white granny panties.

My poor mother, God rest her sainted soul, could not understand why in the 7th grade I was becoming ill at exactly the same time every day. I would go to the office and tell Mrs. Brizee that I needed to call my mom to come and get me. Mrs. Brizee would try to convince me to stay at school, but I always insisted I was too sick to stay. My mom decided to do some investigating before she had me admitted to the hospital and discovered that my illness always occurred right before gym class. Gee, imagine that! Who would want to miss the opportunity to don the glamorous blue, snap front bubble?

So, young people, when you look at your parents with your little eyebrows knit together and wonder why we are so strange, just remember that you were never subjected to the humiliation of the baggy blue gym suit.